I'm in the process of writing a few memoirs of my childhood. They are taking longer then I thought they would. So I decided to steal a story from my brothers childhood that he wrote for a school project a couple years ago. Gee, I wish I had all my Creative Writing stories still!
The Beast
Cursing, I glanced at the blinking red glow of my alarm clock. 6:32. I rolled out of bed and tripped on the standard accumulation of clothing on the floor. Part running, part waddling, I made the journey toward the bathroom at the end of the hall. Upon reaching my destination I dropped my drawers and waited for relief to come. After alleviating the pressure I sauntered the length of the hall toward my warm bed and whatever sleep I might salvage from my restless night.
Three feet from my room, a cold chill stopped me dead in my tracks. Frozen temporarily, I spied the largest, hairiest, most disgusting spider I had ever seen. The beast was crouching on the small spans of carpet between the foot of the stairs and the doorway to my room. A shocking two inches wide, the beast blocked the entrance to my private sanctuary with fear alone.
Several years later my sister, Megan, was reading me an e-mail she had received from one of her co-workers. "The average person swallows four to five spiders whole while sleeping each year. Though many of these spiders may have poisons that will cause illness within a human, it does not cause problems when swallowed because it is neutralized by the potent acids within the stomach."
"Yeah…um…that's an urban legend," I told my mortified sister.
"I don't know. It sounds to me like that could happen, especially if a person is sleeping with there mouth open. A spider could crawl inside to escape the cold."
"Yep, that's an urban legend."
"Prove it," my sister said with intent of not being proven wrong.
Confident, I took her place at the computer with full intent of showing her the error of her ways. Though I found that the e-mail had been grossly wrong, it was wrong in the opposite direction I had been expecting. The e-mail had been a very conservative projection.
After a quick search in Google, I found that the average person swallows twelve spiders whole while sleeping each year. The average person will also eat over a pound of spider parts in various foods. The government actually has regulations for products like candy bars on how much spider they can have per gram. Far from being poisonous, spider is an excellent source of protein.
"That's disgusting!" my sister exclaimed as I read the article out loud.
Several weeks after reading the article on the internet I wasn't surprised to wake up after feeling something other than my tongue in my mouth. Remembering that it would be worse to be bit, I swallowed it. Though the taste was nasty, I no longer needed breakfast that morning.
With the topic on my mind, I recalled standing at the base of the stairs one morning when I was eight.
As I stood stationary at the bottom of the stairs I considered my options. Most logical and rational paths I could come up with involved smashing the spider. But the thought of getting nearer to the beast was eliminated immediately in my mind. On the other hand I could go and climb in bed with my older sister. This thought was also eliminated by the thought of a titan spider prancing around my room, enjoying all the luxuries therein, or even worse…laying eggs. This left one more option…
"MOM!" I screamed up the stairs, "MOM!!"
Under the obvious impression that I was in life threatening danger, had a serious injury, or both, my mother darted out of bed and ran down the stairs to my rescue. Reaching the top of the last flight of stairs she stopped.
"What's the matter?" she asked, her voice dripping with disappointment that I had not somehow severed a limb.
"Spider," I gasped extending my arm in the direction of the menacing beast.
"You have got to be kidding me," she said gazing down upon her pathetic son.
With one swift motion my mother had come down the stairs, grabbed a stick from a nearby room, and smashed the spider.
"Go back to bed," she said directing me to my vacant room.
My humiliation complete, I staggered into my room. Collapsing upon my bed I could only think one thing…
"You're pathetic."
